Have you ever felt like a piece of clay in someones hand? When clay is first picked up it is cold and hard. Then, as pressure and heat are applied from palming and squeezing the clay it begins to soften, it begins to be pliable.
I have felt like that lump of clay these last couple of weeks. I have had some physical heat and pressure applied, and I won't lie, it didn't feel good. But in the process of all that pressure I have been soften, humbled and I have come to a place where I feel teachable and ready to get back on track and do the things that are required of me.
For the span of a week and a half I had been experiencing severe pain and flu-like symptoms from mastitis, a breast infection. From Day 1-6 I was put on 2 different antibiotics by an OBGYN. I waited the appropriate 3 days for each round, but because they were not treating me for the right bacteria the infection was raging and going untreated. I was getting worse by the minute. Fevers, body aches, anxiety attacks, sharp shooting pain...
We decided to go to the ER on day 6. I was put on yet another antibiotic and pain meds, this time through an IV, and was told to come back the next day for more. But, I was still not being treated with the right Medicine. Day 7, another dose of the wrong antibiotic.
Day 8, this was the worst day. I was praying for a miracle! I was sitting on the hospital bed in agony, when in walks my angel, Dr. Torres (aka: a doctor who knew what he was doing...finally) He took one look at me and knew that I was not doing well. He ordered a blood culture (why this wasn't done in the beginning is beyond me) to see what bacteria was causing the mess. I was finally given the right antibiotic and he tripled the dose! The next day I had improved by 50%.
I was sitting on the bed on the 9th and final day at the hospital. I was waiting for Dr. Torres to examine me again and give me my final dose of IV meds. I was staring at the yellow, blue and green stripped curtain that separated my bed from the door. A tear slipped down my check, but it wasn't a tear from the pain, like it had been so many times before, it was a tear of gratitude. I was overwhelmed with gratitude for my body and that it was healing. I promised then to never take my health for granted. I would wake up each day and fill my lungs with air and use all of my energy to the best of my ability.
I know that that week and half was a small bump in my road. I know that there are plenty of other people who endure far greater challenges, but that experience was enough for me, at least for now, to get me refocused and rededicated to being and doing my best.
I am so grateful that I am safely cupped in the warm, strong hand of my Heavenly Father, who knows my every thought and my every desire. I am so grateful that He knows me well enough to know that a little suffering will be best for me in the long run. I am grateful for the gift of an eternal perspective, because that doesn't always come naturally to me.
I am grateful he has given me the absolute best husband who cares for me above and beyond my expectations. I am grateful for my children who are patient and kind to me. They all knew Mommy had an infection and were attentive to my needs. Baily said to me before one of the last trips to the hospital, "Mom, I want you to get better so we can play again, cause you are the funnest Mom in the world!"
I am hoping that if you are still reading this you will find something to be grateful for. Don't let another moment pass you by without gratitude in your heart.
Check out my other blog,
remembering JOY to read more about finding JOY in your journey.
Tyler started 3rd grade. This is the best grade in my opinion. They learn so much and so many new things at this level. He enjoys school and is kinda the class clown. He has his daddy's brain and is reading and spelling way beyond his grade level. He loves to play soccer and had his first game on Saturday. He is so full of questions and has the most vivid, lively imagination of anyone I have ever met. He is so obedient and patient with his sisters and baby brother.
Baily is in 1st grade. She made the transition from half day Kinder to full day school very well. Her and Tyler are in the same class and are doing well together. The Charter school that my kids go to is a Montessori School, and they have uni-level classes 1-3 and 4-6. I LOVE Tyler's teacher and knew that Baily would also thrive in her class. Baily is my sunshine. She is constantly coming up with new ideas. She brings so much hope and happiness to our family.
Dalin just turned 1!! I really can't believe this! Wasn't he just born?! Dalin is the glue to our family. He is our shiny red caboose! He is so adored by us all. There isn't a laugh, smile or giggle that goes unnoticed by his parents or siblings. He almost fell off the bed the other day and I grabbed his leg just as he was plummeting off. The other kids heard me shout and all ran in to see what was wrong. We were all gathered around him and his scared whimper immediately turned into a glowing smile. He was so impressed with all of us watching him. He felt like a rock star!! He is on the move and is crawling everywhere and exploring everything.
James was just called to be the Elders Quorum President in church and was excited (that may not be the right word??) about that! He is still plugging along at the IRS. It is not his dream job, but works hard without a single complaint to provide for all of us. There could not be a better husband, father or man in all the world!
There are a lot things in this life that I am not sure of. And even more things that I don't do very well. There are a lot missed opportunities, hurtful words spoken or tempers lost. I don't know how to keep my laundry pile from being a huge pile, or my bathtub clean. I am late to almost everything and have a really bad concept of time. 
