Why I Love Eeyore

My whole life I have simultaneously felt so sorry for eeyore and related to him. Remember when he would lose his tail? Then one of his friends would find it lying around and pin it back on his rear! Then he would always say, in that low, monotone voice, "No matter. Most likely lose it again."

Oh Eeyore!

My friend made an observation of the me the other day and said that I "wear my worries on my skin." I was really troubled by that comment and it took me a minute to process it. I didn't take offense, because she was simply making an observation, but it really got me thinking.

 I am a pessimist by nature. Always have been...sorry my friends but that glass, ya know the one with the water in it...it's half empty. BUT I pride myself on the fact that I fight, each day to be happy, that I am careful of the way I speak and think and the things I fill my time with. I want others to see me as a happy, joyful person who tries hard to be a good mom, wife and friend.

Lately I have been feeling a bit more like Eeyore than normal..."No matter, I've already lost my mind and will most likely lose it tomorrow, too."

The single greatest challenge I experience is remembering to be patient with myself! To honor my nature and to see what I use to think where my greatest weaknesses as my greatest God-given strengths. Yup, I probably will lose my mind again tomorrow, but that's okay. I have piglets and tigers and Pooh's in my life to help me reattach it. They see me for who I am and love me despite all that. So I may wear my worries on my skin more than some people, but that is me.

My sweet Kylee was with me when my friend made this comment and she responded with wisdom beyond her years by saying, "That is who you are mom. You worry. Worry is what makes you you. You worry so much because you care so much, and that is why people are attracted to you and love you." Isn't she a peach!!

Which Winney the Pooh character are you? There's one for everyone!

James is Pooh! awwwwww

Kylee is Owl, of course!

 Tyler is Rabbit.

Baily is T-I-double G-ER!

Malia is Piglet to a "T".

Dalin is our Roo.

Today I Met an Angel

Today I got to meet an angel! A long awaited for little baby was born yesterday, July 13th. The proud and wonderful parents of baby Emma Nicole are my brother-in-law and his wife. Emma was bundled up so tightly in 3 hospital blankets, in the traditional burrito-style roll that you need a degree in baby swaddling to re-do. She had a precious knitted hat on her tiny head.

I have only seen my husband cry a handful of times, and this was one of them, as he held his first niece (on his side of the fam.) It was magical. I can't wait to watch her grow up! What a wonderful addition to our family.

They don't want this little princess on the world wide web just yet, so here is a picture of James holing her...He was beaming!

The rest of my day was pretty uneventful. I finished painting Dalin's room-It only took me three days because everything has to be done in little increments around here. It is "pirate blue", as Dalin calls it. I will put the finishing touches on his pirate themed room this week; black and white stripped curtains, some art work and other fun piratey things!

Next is Kylee's room. Corral and Aqua with something like this muraled across the wall.

And then the little girls room...We're still not sure of the colors for that one. This house is getting a makeover! Painting is exhausting.

Now, time for a date with Netflix =)

Sharing

I was out on my morning run today. I love these runs...Even though most of the time I feel like passing out...I do love the way my heart pounds and my muscles scream. I do my best thinking on these runs. I love the way my mind feels open and free.

I had been pleading with God this last week to help me understand why I have been feeling so heavy-hearted lately...anxious...looking over my shoulder for the next bad thing to happen. I use to live every day like this and so these feelings are very familiar to me, and ones that I fight everyday to stay on top of. I had been asking questions like,  "Why am I feeling this way? Was it a warning, an impression of some sort? What was I doing or not doing in my life to be stuck in this negative thought pattern? And I found myself going over these questions again as I blazed crawled along.

I love God. I love how he listens to me and answers me. He waited to answer this particular question until I was in the still of nature, running along the beautiful mountain roads of North Ogden, Utah.

His answer came to me in my own thoughts, as it almost always does. "Your heart is heavy because you are not sharing. You are not sharing the oils and you are not sharing your story of healing, hope, peace and JOY! You are not sharing the wealth of knowledge I have given you. Remember when I promised to heal you and teach you how to be happy? Remember that you promised me if I would do those things that you would share what you learn with others? Remember?"

My heart did 2 things almost simultaneously....It rejoiced as it always does when I hear God's instructions to me, and then it sank...He was right. I wasn't sharing. I was too busy...busy with GOOD things, mind you...slathering sunscreen, cooking meals, cleaning fingerprints off walls, etc. etc. But He was right.

I am happiest when i am sharing.

Remember when you were little and your mom would say over and over again, "Share your toys! Share your candy! Share share share!" I say that to my kids all the time. Sharing is so IMPORTANT. Why??? Because when we share, we are happier. It's a weird phenomenon how taking something from yourself and giving it away can grow your heart and melt away your cares. But it does, doesn't it?

It was no coincidence that my wonderful friend came over today with her 2 boys and we let the kids play while she picked at my brain and I SHARED with her the tools I had learned on how to be happy. It was awesome. She left feeling hope and she left me feeling happy. Thank you Father for knowing me so well and reminding me of your promise.

Isn't God amazing?

Heaven is Here

I am listening to the book Heaven is Here, by Stephanie Nielson. It is a heart-wrenching autobiography. Stephanie and her husband were in a plane crash in 2008 and she was burned over 80% of her body. See her story here.

In the beginning of the book she talks about how she met her husband, married and started having their family. The tender way she talks about her sweet husband and each of her children is so touching. It has truly inspired me to slow down. To take time to really see my children, each one of them, and my husband who does so much and gives so much. In the chaos of each day I need to remember what is important and what memories I am creating for my family. That is really all that matters.

Thinking back on today I remember the things that I saw with my eyes, but am now just seeing with my heart...

Like just now, when Dalin climbed on my lap while I was sitting in bed, writing this post and curled up and fell asleep, enveloped in my lush blanket. He felt completely safe. He completely trusts me. He knows so little of the world, and through his almost 4 year old eyes I am his world, his rock. There is nothing in this world that compares to kissing his warm cheeks when he is asleep.

Or the time I went downstairs to get some water after I had tucked the kids into their sleeping bags in the living room to watch a movie and found Kylee, face down on top of the counter with her long legs hanging off the edge taking funny pictures of herself and giggling at each one. She has this amazing ability to be happy and to see good.

I remember this morning when James gathered us for scripture reading and then loaded up all 5 kids to take them to lunch in the park.  I did not fully appreciate his service until now. I was just concerned with how much free time I would have, not the sacrifices he was making being gone all morning and then heading straight to work some overtime. He is always so compassionate and loving toward me!

My eyes saw, and my heart is now basking in the memory of looking out the window this afternoon to see Baily. She had shimmied up the tree and out onto a sturdy branch. She was rigging the sprinkler hose so that it sprayed down on the trampoline like a shower so that her, Malia and Dalin could jump in their swimming suits. She is so bright and determined. I never have to worry if something will get done with Baily, she does anything she puts her mind to and she does it with a smile!

Malia had been asking me all day to glue her My Little Pony wing that was falling off. She cherishes her pony's and so I told her of course I would, and to put it on the counter so I wouldn't forget. After a couple more reminders I finally grabbed the pony. After discovering we didn't have any glue that would work on plastic I took some purple duct tape and bandaged the wing, good as new. When I handed it to her, she looked over the wing and gasped. I thought for sure she would be upset at my work, but than wrapped her arms around me and thanked me for fixing her pony! My heart melted as her and her pony fluttered away.

Then there is my Tyler. We were watching a show all together after dinner and I was starting to "zone out" after my busy day. It took me a couple of minutes to realize that the body I felt nestled against mine was my tall, thin boy. He had found a little nook to sneak into and was resting his head against my shoulder with his arm wrapped around my arm. I kissed the top of his head, "Hi Ty!" I said, in my usual greeting to him, smoothing his hair. He looked up at me with his huge smile and those electrifying blue eyes.

My life is far from perfect. I cringe when people sugar coat everything and make their lives look so glamorous, but what Stephanie Nielson reminded me of in her book, is that life doesn't have to be perfect for us to see all the good! There is so much good!