I am listening to the book Heaven is Here, by Stephanie Nielson. It is a heart-wrenching autobiography. Stephanie and her husband were in a plane crash in 2008 and she was burned over 80% of her body. See her story here.
In the beginning of the book she talks about how she met her husband, married and started having their family. The tender way she talks about her sweet husband and each of her children is so touching. It has truly inspired me to slow down. To take time to really see my children, each one of them, and my husband who does so much and gives so much. In the chaos of each day I need to remember what is important and what memories I am creating for my family. That is really all that matters.
Thinking back on today I remember the things that I saw with my eyes, but am now just seeing with my heart...
Like just now, when Dalin climbed on my lap while I was sitting in bed, writing this post and curled up and fell asleep, enveloped in my lush blanket. He felt completely safe. He completely trusts me. He knows so little of the world, and through his almost 4 year old eyes I am his world, his rock. There is nothing in this world that compares to kissing his warm cheeks when he is asleep.
I remember this morning when James gathered us for scripture reading and then loaded up all 5 kids to take them to lunch in the park. I did not fully appreciate his service until now. I was just concerned with how much free time I would have, not the sacrifices he was making being gone all morning and then heading straight to work some overtime. He is always so compassionate and loving toward me!
My eyes saw, and my heart is now basking in the memory of looking out the window this afternoon to see Baily. She had shimmied up the tree and out onto a sturdy branch. She was rigging the sprinkler hose so that it sprayed down on the trampoline like a shower so that her, Malia and Dalin could jump in their swimming suits. She is so bright and determined. I never have to worry if something will get done with Baily, she does anything she puts her mind to and she does it with a smile!
Malia had been asking me all day to glue her My Little Pony wing that was falling off. She cherishes her pony's and so I told her of course I would, and to put it on the counter so I wouldn't forget. After a couple more reminders I finally grabbed the pony. After discovering we didn't have any glue that would work on plastic I took some purple duct tape and bandaged the wing, good as new. When I handed it to her, she looked over the wing and gasped. I thought for sure she would be upset at my work, but than wrapped her arms around me and thanked me for fixing her pony! My heart melted as her and her pony fluttered away.
Then there is my Tyler. We were watching a show all together after dinner and I was starting to "zone out" after my busy day. It took me a couple of minutes to realize that the body I felt nestled against mine was my tall, thin boy. He had found a little nook to sneak into and was resting his head against my shoulder with his arm wrapped around my arm. I kissed the top of his head, "Hi Ty!" I said, in my usual greeting to him, smoothing his hair. He looked up at me with his huge smile and those electrifying blue eyes.
My life is far from perfect. I cringe when people sugar coat everything and make their lives look so glamorous, but what Stephanie Nielson reminded me of in her book, is that life doesn't have to be perfect for us to see all the good! There is so much good!