Wednesday, July 9, 2014


I was out on my morning run today. I love these runs...Even though most of the time I feel like passing out...I do love the way my heart pounds and my muscles scream. I do my best thinking on these runs. I love the way my mind feels open and free.

I had been pleading with God this last week to help me understand why I have been feeling so heavy-hearted lately...anxious...looking over my shoulder for the next bad thing to happen. I use to live every day like this and so these feelings are very familiar to me, and ones that I fight everyday to stay on top of. I had been asking questions like,  "Why am I feeling this way? Was it a warning, an impression of some sort? What was I doing or not doing in my life to be stuck in this negative thought pattern? And I found myself going over these questions again as I blazed crawled along.

I love God. I love how he listens to me and answers me. He waited to answer this particular question until I was in the still of nature, running along the beautiful mountain roads of North Ogden, Utah.

His answer came to me in my own thoughts, as it almost always does. "Your heart is heavy because you are not sharing. You are not sharing the oils and you are not sharing your story of healing, hope, peace and JOY! You are not sharing the wealth of knowledge I have given you. Remember when I promised to heal you and teach you how to be happy? Remember that you promised me if I would do those things that you would share what you learn with others? Remember?"

My heart did 2 things almost simultaneously....It rejoiced as it always does when I hear God's instructions to me, and then it sank...He was right. I wasn't sharing. I was too busy...busy with GOOD things, mind you...slathering sunscreen, cooking meals, cleaning fingerprints off walls, etc. etc. But He was right.

I am happiest when i am sharing.

Remember when you were little and your mom would say over and over again, "Share your toys! Share your candy! Share share share!" I say that to my kids all the time. Sharing is so IMPORTANT. Why??? Because when we share, we are happier. It's a weird phenomenon how taking something from yourself and giving it away can grow your heart and melt away your cares. But it does, doesn't it?

It was no coincidence that my wonderful friend came over today with her 2 boys and we let the kids play while she picked at my brain and I SHARED with her the tools I had learned on how to be happy. It was awesome. She left feeling hope and she left me feeling happy. Thank you Father for knowing me so well and reminding me of your promise.

Isn't God amazing?

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